When you're married or in a long-term relationship, some things are better left unsaid.
Below, marriage therapists and other experts share 10 phrases and statements to strike from your vocabulary now.
1. "You never do the dishes. You always just leave them sitting there."
Whatever the issue, using accusatory blanket terms like "never" and "always" tends to end the same way every time: with you and your boo engaged in an overblown argument.
2. "You sound exactly like your mother."
When arguing, stick to the issue at hand and keep the focus on the two of you. Introducing nasty comparisons to your in-laws is unfair and ultimately a diversion from your problems.
3. "You think you're better than everyone else!"
Never put words in your partner's mouth. There's no way of knowing what someone is feeling or thinking, so keep the assumptions to yourself.
4. "Do I look like I've put on weight?"
Questions about weight or changes in looks are the "oldest grenades in the marriage script".
"What you really mean by asking this is, 'I know I've put on weight. I'm unhappy about how I look and I need you to say that you're OK with my current state.'"
5. "Have you put on a few pounds?"
Blunt, negative remarks to your spouse about his or her appearance are out of line. Unconstructive criticism of physical appearance is painful because you're suggesting that your partner isn't good enough.
6. "You're a horrible parent, breadwinner, lover..."
Put-downs centered around your spouse’s family or occupational roles are particularly cruel.
Negative statements about our self-identities are devastating. These roles are so important and tender. When they're questioned, we feel completely torn down. It becomes hard to forget statements like this.
7. "Ugh, I hate when you do that." (Said in front of friends or family.)
Putting your spouse down in front of others is a huge no-no in a relationship. It causes resentment and a lack of trust.
8. "I barely know him — he's just someone I work with."
It's almost inevitable that you or your partner will develop a small, innocent crush on someone at some point during your marriage. If that happens, be upfront about it. Don't try to sweep it under the rug with a statement that minimizes your feelings.
9. "You shouldn't feel that way."
There's nothing more belittling or condescending than telling your spouse what he should or shouldn't be feeling in any given situation.
Try to understand your partner and be curious about his experience rather than dismissing what you don't understand.
10. "Don't wait up for me."
This seemingly innocent remark suggests you're not going to bed at the same time, a habit that can be damaging to your relationship.